“I Think I Need Help”: How to Talk to Your Parents About A Mental Health Screening.

Oct 1

5 min read

Asking for help can be hard, but you don't have to figure it out alone.

Sometimes you can tell that something feels different, but you aren't sure how to explain it. Maybe you've been feeling more overwhelmed, stressed, worried, irritable, tired, or disconnected than usual. Maybe you're having a hard time concentrating or enjoying things you normally like.

You may even find yourself thinking, “I don't know if this is serious enough to ask for help.”

Here's the thing: you don't have to figure that out by yourself. A mental health screening can be a simple first step toward understanding what you've been experiencing.

So, What Is a Mental Health Screening?

A mental health screening is a brief check-in that helps a healthcare or mental health professional learn more about how you're feeling, thinking, and functioning.

Depending on the type of screening, you may answer questions about things like:

Your mood and emotions
Stress or worry
Sleep and energy
Concentration and motivation
Changes in your daily routine
Relationships and school or work
How you've been coping
Any concerns about your safety or well-being

A screening is not the same thing as receiving a diagnosis. Think of it as a starting point. Your answers can help a professional understand whether you may benefit from talking more with a mental health provider or exploring additional support.

Screenings can also look different depending on your age, situation, and what you're experiencing. Some are very brief questionnaires, while others may be part of a longer conversation with a healthcare or mental health professional.

Why Might You Want One?

You don't need to be in a crisis to ask for a screening.

You might consider talking with someone if you've noticed changes that are starting to affect your everyday life, such as:

Feeling overwhelmed more often than usual
Having trouble sleeping or getting enough rest
Losing interest in things you normally enjoy
Having difficulty concentrating
Feeling unusually sad, worried, angry, or irritable
Pulling away from friends or family
Struggling to keep up with school, work, or responsibilities
Feeling like you're having a harder time coping than you used to

These experiences can happen for lots of different reasons, and having one or more of them doesn't automatically mean you have a mental health condition. A screening is one way to start figuring out what's going on rather than trying to label yourself.

How Do I Bring It Up With My Parents?

This is often the hardest part.

You might be worried they'll think you're overreacting, tell you that you're fine, or wonder why you suddenly want to talk to someone.

Your parents may also have questions of their own. They might not realize you've been struggling, or they may not know what a mental health screening actually involves. That doesn't necessarily mean they don't care or don't want to help.

Start with what you do know.

You could say: “I've noticed I've been struggling lately, and I'd like to get a mental health screening.” or “I'm not asking you to fix anything. I just think it would be helpful to talk to someone and see how I'm doing.”

You can also explain what you've noticed: “I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately, and it's starting to affect my sleep and school. I'd like to talk to someone about it.”

You don't need a perfect explanation. You just need to start the conversation.

What If They Say, “But You Seem Fine?”

Parents can't always see everything you're experiencing. You might be going to school, hanging out with friends, doing your homework, and still having a difficult time internally.

If your parent doesn't immediately understand, try explaining that you're not asking them to agree that something is wrong. You're asking for an opportunity to check in.

You could say: “I know I might seem okay, but I've noticed that I haven't been feeling like myself. I'd really like to talk to someone just to make sure I'm doing okay.

You can also share information about what a screening is and why you'd like one. Sometimes having more information can make the conversation feel less intimidating for everyone.

What If They Don't Know Where to Start?

That's okay, too.

Your parents may want to help but simply not know who to call or what kind of appointment to make. A good place to start can be your primary care provider. Primary care providers can perform an initial mental health screening and may refer you to a mental health professional if more support is needed.

Depending on your situation, other options may include:

A school counselor
A doctor or pediatrician
A therapist or counselor
A psychologist or psychiatrist
A trusted teacher or coach
A school or college wellness center
Another trusted adult who can help you find the right resource

You don't have to know exactly which professional you need before asking for help. That's part of what the first conversation is for.

If Talking Face-to-Face Feels Too Hard

There are other ways to start.

You could:

Send your parent a text
Write them a note
Ask them to talk while you're driving together
Show them this toolkit
Ask another trusted adult to help you explain what you've been experiencing
Ask your doctor about getting screened during your next appointment

Sometimes writing everything down first makes the conversation much easier.

Make a Quick Plan Before You Talk

Take a few minutes to write down what you want your parents to know. You can keep it on your phone and use it as a reminder if you get nervous.

What I've been noticing:

How it's affecting me:

Why I'd like a screening:

What I want my parents to understand:

You don't have to share every detail. This is simply a way to organize your thoughts before you start the conversation.

What If My Parents Still Don't Understand?

Sometimes people need more than one conversation to understand what you're experiencing. Give your parents a chance to ask questions and learn more about what you're looking for.

But if you're still having trouble getting connected to support, consider talking with another trusted adult. A school counselor, doctor, teacher, coach, relative, or other trusted adult may be able to help you figure out your next step.

You could say: “I've been wanting to get a mental health screening, but I'm not sure how to get started. Can you help me figure out what my options are?”

You don't have to handle the entire process alone.

One More Important Thing

Mental health screenings can cover many different concerns, and some screenings specifically ask about safety. Answering honestly is important because the goal is to make sure you get the right level of support.

For example, healthcare settings may use brief, evidence-based screening tools to identify people who may need a more thorough assessment. A positive screening result does not automatically mean someone has a diagnosis; it can simply mean that a professional should ask some additional questions and determine what support may be appropriate.

If you're ever having thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself, don't wait for a routine screening. Tell a trusted adult or healthcare professional right away. You can also call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.

You Don't Have to Have All the Answers

Asking for a mental health screening doesn't mean you've figured out what's wrong. It means you're willing to check in with yourself and get some support in understanding what you're experiencing.

You don't have to wait until things become unbearable.

You can simply say: “I don't feel like myself lately, and I'd like to talk to someone.”

That's enough of a reason to start the conversation.